Going back to elementary school

What it felt like going back to elementary school as a senior in high school, about to graduate, and seeing all my old teachers (this was probably approximately May of 2024).

I had driven by the familiar, memory-holding brick building many times

For it was say, four minutes from my house

But it wasn't the same anymore

I didn't recall memories just by driving past

Did I not want to?

It was as if the building was in a case as I drove past

And I didn't let it infiltrate my mind

I was in control

For memories are bittersweet

You like them

You love them

And you hate them

They're just weird

It's all so weird

You were a different person back then

How can you even ever unlock that person

How can you relate

And people knew you back then

But you didn't even know you back then

So how could they

Walking into the building,

I allowed my memories to wash over me for once

I wanted the nostalgia

I allowed it

We walked into what used to be the gym,

This wasn't here before, I thought

I knew things had changed

Of course they did

As I stood in a circle with my former classmates

Who had all but blended in with the rest of my grade

I remembered I had ties closer to these people than the rest

I felt connected to them

No matter other feelings of infinite disconnect

As I stood in a circle in this room that didn't exist in the times that I roamed this building,

I recall the person that didn't exist either in the times that I roamed this building

The person I am now

As I stood in a circle in this room that didn't exist in the times that I roamed this building

I look at my former music teacher

I didn't know it was him

I couldn't recognize him

He says, we'll go around, and everyone will say their name, university, and major into the iPad

For a video, for memories, for recall

I think how strange my life had become

How much had changed

Even my name wasn't the same

A university?

A major?

Studies?

Driving far away from my parents, my family, all the friends I had ever known?

Becoming my own person?

Independent?

My name is Masha

I will be attending the University of Wisconsin-Madison

To study Biomedical Engineering

As I said these words, my voice was quiet in the iPad

But it wasn't like it was before

I wasn't the same shy child

I just knew myself better

Knew I didn't like attention

Didn't want to sound like I was bragging

Didn't want to jinx my future

But I get it

I get the nostalgic iPad video

And for once I felt more connected to my younger self than ever

Even if things were different, they were similar

I felt connected to the person people knew me as

Even if I knew they were wrong

I was even wrong

Maybe, not that much has changed...?