A new feeling, growing confident in my school capacities

You know, it's weird.

It's really weird.

For preface, it's only been two days of the start of the new, Spring semester. January 21st, a Tuesday (yesterday), and January 22nd, a Wednesday (today).

And even though, I am already drowning in and getting stressed out by schoolwork (and even before the semester started), I have this feeling (for some reason!) like I can do anything.

I don't know why I have this feeling of dominance.

And it's specifically for school, but I guess, through school, it can extend to anything.

And it's not even that I don't feel concerned about myself, my schooling, and this semester. I do. I really do. I am concerned.

For example, I am concerned about statics, because of the millions of questions asked after every pre-lecture reading assignment, for the way that they are not explained, I keep getting them wrong, and they're worth a lot of points, and they take a lot of time.

I am also concerned about computer science, (programming I with Java). Just had that class for the first time today, and am concerned about the way my professor was doing a code, said that it was advanced and that we wouldn't be covering it until way later into the semester, and yet, this code is one that was one of the "challenge"'s in one of the assignments, that is worth 100 points, and due in a week. And one that I was attempting before the break even ended, and couldn't figure out. And there was no help. Nothing I could read about it/for it (it was not covered, as he had said, it was not in the reading leading up to it), no solution shown, no practice problem I could look at that was like it...

I am screwed, and yet, I look at my Biomedical Engineerng map, and I know I enjoy it, and I know in a way I am ahead, and I've already done a semester (and survived), and I just know I can do it.

I did not choose an easy path; I chose to be challenged.

I like to be challenged. I am passionate about being challenged.

No matter how draining it is, I could not live life any other way.

Coffee xoxo, will update you,

Masha.

(and perhaps pray for me).