A weird mix of introvert and extrovert

I have already written about these topics, but I got more to write about. Plus I just got asked this question so I must’ve just started thinking about it more- again.

I think I am what is truly a weird mix of introvert and extrovert. Like I have some very introverted qualities- and ironically- I think that some of these same qualities lead to me being a good extrovert.

First, let’s look at my introvert qualities.

Anti-social.

I have my anti-social moments. And the thing is- I can be very fine alone. I’m independent, and I know how to entertain myself. A lot of the things I do are alone activities anyway, so doing them with people wouldn’t even make sense, and that is why sometimes it is actually with people that I wouldn’t know what to do!

So yeah I’m never bored, and I enjoy that time.

But this would just not be interesting for other people.

And also the type of person that I am, I don’t need a lot of friends; don’t need to constantly be doing things.

I can just sit there and think, not see anyone, think, and be fine. I can be philosophical and deep. Just thinking.

But- at the same time? When put into social situations?

I feel like I thrive.

I always have a great time with friends. I have a deep love for my friends. True friends- I always smile when thinking of them, look forward to meeting up, hanging out, chatting, catching up, whatever it is! And I always feel happy after seeing them, sad to leave them.

And even if it’s people I don’t know- I think I’m just naturally a curious person who asks them so many questions no matter who they are and what their profession is. It works out well because I’m a curious person, who can learn, and I just care about them, whoever they are, and am interested, and they probably feel very seen/heard and like me in return for that, because I just happen to care (and I’m just thinking like if they didn’t have that before). Like I just naturally care, I don’t know why.

In interviews- I feel like I know what to say, like the right things to say, how to be liked, and I feel like, in general, I can be generally well liked? Because I know how to be liked, I know what people like, vs what they find annoying…

Like…being non judgemental and unproblematic lowkey helps.

I feel like, despite my little antisocial moments, I manage to somehow make new friends, and am on good terms with a lot of people through this new-friend making. You know like if you calculate all the new friends and all the good terms.

I feel like I understand people in social situations. What they’re saying, emotionally intelligent? This is I guess all just how I interpret the word “extrovert.”

I think also what goes into it is authentically, unapologetically being myself. You can’t truly be an extrovert and make friends until you ARE yourself, and people like you and are friends with you- FOR YOU. For who you are. And being honest and not fake helps. I will be blunt and say it as it is. I just simply don’t see the point or purpose in that. I will never lead someone on or, if I feel something needs to be said, purposely not say it and let time go by.

So…own personality. Not a robot. Not a copy of anyone else. Own person, with likes, dislikes, humor, stories, baggage, drama, topics of conversation, etc.

Own ideas (introverted philosophy-see how it all ties in? Stuff I write about could be GREAT topics of conversation- and I just naturally, as part of who I am/my personality, like thinking about them, reflecting them, philosophizing and writing about them so checks out!) Own individuality. Independence. Being interesting??? So it’s like a lot of these individual factors that contribute to introvertedness also contribute to extrovertedness.

Probably stemming from the idea/logic that, anything you put your time and mind to you are going to be good at. Well, if I say, spend a lot of my time naturally (because I naturally like to and want to) philosophizing etc, that makes for a great conversationalist. Or liking debating, thinking, rationalizing, and seeing other sides…

So aesthetic to be writing about this shit in a nightly alive café lol. That’s why I love this café. These people are just out at night and make for a great atmosphere. And I’m just like hell yeah I’ll join this. Works out. Checks out for me.