Attention

1. Never liked attention. But there was always one person I wanted attention from, when I was younger. My mom. My parents. I've talked about children's psychology a lot on this blog, and I think this thirst for attention, right among all the other things that are explained by it, are explained by the capacity of children. Because when I got older, I realized I didn't want to rely on this craving. It was as if it was a drug, and I wanted to get off it.

2. That's that type of attention. Then there's the type where you don't feel confident so you don't want people to look at you. I think this type of disliking of attention is very common for people, I mean I think most people experience it. Like for example I think that's why we all get so weird about tasks like

   1. Walking in late (eyes on us)

   2. Presentations

      and nervous for

   3. performances/concerts

3. Another thing I think attention does is make us feel that everyone sees, is paying attention to, and agrees with our insecurities - but we never get confirmation on this - so we're left wondering - and not knowing makes us crazy. But then if our fears are confirmed well that might make things worse in the future (even more insecure).