CAMPUS

~some of my last highlight thoughts💡 before year 1 ended:

1. Graduation seems so far away. I was thinking this on my last day; I was all packed up, and ready to move out. But, I had forgotten one thing. My dad was about to pick me up in a few hours...and yet...

   
   

   ~preface~

   There was an essay I had to write for my russian lit class. A final paper. And for it, because I chose to do the longer version for med school, I needed sources. That's when I had to first encounter a scary confusing library at my university. I spent a few hours in there just trying to figure out where to find my books. To be fair I didn't have the easiest books to find, "foreign" they would've been in that library, I encountered quite a few surprises during my visit.

   1. First off, it was actually not hard to find books in Russian. I found out, for whatever reason, the library had a plethora.

   2. But, so many of the books I was looking for and wanted were in aisles that were...blocked off? Not even just blocked off but straight-up locked. It was the weirdest thing. These aisles had iPads attached to them.

   3. It was so hard to find the books. All the aisles had a million letters and numbers attached to them, as if we were going by some barcode/scan-code number.

   4. I learned that finding the book there on the spot would've been I think...quite impossible. Definitely unproductive. That's why I had to find all the potentials online first.

      1. Actually, that's another reason I spent so long in there. I had to sit there and go through thousands of books online to find what I was looking for.

      2. Why I didn't do that earlier? Well, first off, like I said, I learned. I didn't know it would be like that; a pre-requisite to going to the library/finding those books.

      3. I also didn't want to go to the library in the first place. Yeah, guess I'm no Belle. I mean at this point in my life, there's very specific books I want to read, and I don't think I'd be able to find them at the library anyway. At least not in this country, as easily. But on a real note, I didn't really like that aspect of the assignment. I thought it was stupid and nothing but annoying (as it clearly ended up being) that I had to go to the library and find these sources (though I only found one). Having to add the sources ended up being the worst and my least favorite part of the essay. As in, the essay would've been better off without the forcing of those sources. Cohesive.

   It took I think about 1 1/2 hr to find one book.

   That's why, when move-out day came, or I guess, even before that, when I was packing, I came across this book, which I had reluctantly read part of (it was strange, but I also think I wasn't in the right headspace when I was reading it). I was like, "shoot." Because the next day, my dad was going to come early, and I wasn't sure when I would have time to return this book. But I had to make time. I didn't really have a choice. I was leaving the city, even if the book was only due weeks from when I was leaving.

   
   

   The library was also 30 minutes away from my dorm. So as I made the reluctant walk (reluctant seems to be the word with this book) to the library on that Saturday while I was waiting for my dad (but not really "waiting," I was so busy and had so much to do before he got there I was practically fighting for the time). But at least it was a sunny day! So kind-of a nice walk. And I made observations. I was surprised to see how busy campus was. But it made sense, in a way. On one hand, so many people had moved out already. Most. Half? It was hard to tell, but campus had already felt like a ghost town long before then. Or maybe, it was just that my friends had left and I was coping (who knows?)

   
   

   On the other hand, campus was also alive, but, with the wrong people. And I don't mean that in a bad way, it just felt unnatural. Instead of swarming with students, it was full of graduates in white and their families, also dressed nicely.

   
   

   And suddenly, after the semester I had had just finished and also barely survived, I felt truly appreciative, supportive, and congratulatory of these graduates. Because I understood how much went into it. If that was just one semester that left me feeling like that...then, yikes. But especially I felt it from an engineering perspective.

   
   

   Still, and suddenly, graduation felt so far away. So unattainable. A crazy goal. But is it really? Somehow a year is already over! 2025 and 2028 are only 3 years away...

   
   

   If this was high school it wouldn't feel crazy or far away at all, but that's only because I have already been and lived through high school, and now realize it was nothing crazy or hard. Kind-of a joke compared to college. Like obviously it prepared me...but...then again, some things, you just can't be all that totally prepared for. No matter what.

   
   

   And then I was like, lol, will I even get to graduation?

2. Anyway, the other thing I wanted to talk about related to campus is music. And all the places I listen to music to. Except some of them aren't places.

   1. Walking to class

   2. A long walk on/from/to campus

   3. Outside time

   4. As I stared out into the lake and had deep thoughts

   5. Instead of calling someone and talking to my friends (instead of talking to family members, friends on the phone)

   6. Instead of listening to religious podcasts

   7. Doing homework

   8. Reading something long for a class

   9. Writing these blog posts

   10. Car rides (especially longer, not just ten minutes, but thirty)

   
   

   Nothing can beat music time, and I'm just used to listening music at these times. Nothing can replace it. It's just too good. Couldn't live without music. I will write more about music (like the type of music I like and going through my playlists) in the future. And perhaps remember to link it here as well.