CHANGE/REALIZATIONS(I'm changing)

All the ways in which I'm starting to change this summer 2025....or realizations....

• Appreciate UW-Madison (it's actually a good school, I want to stay there, it's well-known, it's got a great reputation, and I'm proud to be there)

• Less questioning of if I want to live in a different country (I actually really appreciate freedom thank you very much, it's the way it inherently should be anyway)

  • but it depends on what happens in the future, still, in other ways

  • and on a lot of other things

  • but guess what? I feel more at peace

• Don't understand love, and am as confused as ever about it

  • But possibly, in a better direction

  • is love an essence, is it just there or not

  • or is it a choice

  • is it both?

  • can love be rationalized (I know it can be in some ways at least...and is this good or bad?)

• I miss my friends

• I miss routine

• I miss structure

• I miss business (even statics and MAYBE even CS)

• My fears are actually dumb and would never happen

• Everything will be okay

• You know what, even if I don't have the best grades, even if it makes me feel dumb, I'm honestly proud of even those grades

  • it's all so intricate

  • so much more goes into it

  • real power and smartness is the way your brain powers and can think, adapt, understand, learn, develop, think from different perspectives, engineer, problem solve...

• Sometimes you have to force yourself to do things when you don't have motivation

• It's okay, good, and healthy to slow down, have slow days, relax, have time to yourself, reflect, and think on things

  • and there should be ZERO guilt associated with it

• Sometimes there are people that are close to us, or not even necessarily close to us, they can do toxic things, but that doesn't make them toxic people and they can still be vital/crucial to us

  • everyone makes mistakes

  • we all live and we learn

  • and you should never punish yourself for things you didn't know at the time or things you were only learning

    • hmmm like grades?

  • as long as you try your best

  • have grace, but also have discipline

• Weird days are okay, it gets better, life is confusing, but always worth it

  • you can't change sometimes, so you should change to love and appreciate them

• Time goes by fast no matter what

• Life is so unpredictable and can change in two seconds, as can your feelings

  • you literally never know in life

  • part of the excitement

• What we do and say can greatly impact others, for better or for worse. And it doesn't matter whether you think it can't; it can and does

• every step in life is a learning curve

  • embrace it

  • be radiant

• we all should be gracious and humble because we all make mistakes, and we often even go through similar ones

  • + who are we to judge

• one of the hardest things to me has been understanding that differences make us unique, beautiful, we need to appreciate what we have and not take it for granted. Difference makes us stronger, it should not tear us apart, even when there are so many ways for it to do so.

• idk respect people

• There are almost always more sides than one to the story (the complexity of life in a nutshell)

I have had wayyyyyyyyyyy too much time to think. God knew I would be too powerful without a busy schedule, I'm a menace in the summer right now. That's why he had to make me suffer with engineering and disguise it as my own self-hatred (if you can't tell, this is a joke).