Feeling of fitting in

It's mind boggling to me how as a child, I felt like I fit in and as I grew up, I progressively didn't. Like the sequence would go

1. Elementary school - fit in

2. Middle school - start to feel a little weird

3. High school - majorly felt like I didn't fit in

4. University - still don't feel like I fit in

Like I literally didn't speak English when I entered elementary school, why did I feel like I fit in? I just didn't have the capacity to understand otherwise/such things. As children don't.

And then when I learned English, caught up to my peers (in 3rd grade) and even surpassed them, is when I started feeling weird. Labeled as smart (read that blog post). I always felt weird.

I had friends, but even with them, didn't feel like I fit in.

No place felt like home, I felt like I was constantly in the wrong place. I still feel that way now.

Like the person that I am, doesn't line up with where I am or who I'm with, somehow.