I'M BEGGING YOU

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Beggin' by Måneskin

What's that psychology term for being stuck in some child-like state? Not regression- that's something that progressively happens.

I have this theory that there's people, who, for whatever reason, (the reason I still haven't figured out) are stuck in child-like state of something, almost like they're suffering from a diagnosis of something. There's these people that I know- grownups, mind you, that require and demand attention. They will literally yell at you if it's not enough for them or up to their standards!

Immature, is what it is. It's embarrassing.

Such a toxic one-sided relationship it is. And when it hurts the people I love that they do it against I get really angry. Why am I more mature than you in this aspect, and half your age?

This one-sided relationship makes me really angry because I see the people I love trying so hard to please these people. They ask for nothing in return.

But it's never enough. It's an ego thing. They need to be better than us.

But their idea of what better is is so stupid, it almost makes me laugh!

Being "cool," wearing ridiculously expensive clothes and shoes (like really, people), going to fancy restaurants, taking fake non-candid pictures, wearing pounds of makeup, and going on vacation every other week.

You know what I think is cool?

Having an actual education? Being ambitious and smart? In school and in life? Learning how things work and wanting to? Being mature?

Actually thinking sometimes, and not just partying and blowing your heads off for some false sense of what; happiness?

Nothing wrong in having good taste but what about a good soul and heart? Love and non-judgement? Non-ego issues? Happiness and content?

If they're happy and content, I'm happy for them. But something tells me there is still much amiss.

And they're so intimidated, when I attempt to have both.

I think in reality they're scared; we have what they will never have, and we have potential to easily what they have too; therefore, we will have what they have and more, what they can never have. It's too late.

They have no problem publicly criticizing us in our own home, making fun of us right in front of us, laughing at us, making us uncomfortable, and saying really inappropriate things.

The ego is blinding and sad.

The audacity is beyond unfathomable.

Audacity is my favorite word in the English language, and it has never applied more. So I guess that's something.

Sometimes I can't believe these are the people we are meant to love.

Here's my question- why do you care so much about what we think, then? If you don't actually care about what we think/us? Hmmm................

In conclusion I'm begging you to stop being so pathetic so I can stop cringing and breathe.

So stupid and pathetic at this point I can't breathe.

It used to hurt.

Now it doesn't. Because I've realized, thought on, and reflected on just how stupid it is.

IF YOU DON'T RESPECT ME OR THE PEOPLE I LOVE, I WON'T EITHER.

Like sure I'll give you basic respect but in reality, in real ways that it actually matters, you will not have my respect. Not even close.

You're done.

Good luck.

Not many enemies.