Maybe some impossible (and bad) goals for the new year

I remember a specific memory before the new year. It might’ve been New Year’s Eve or something…I really don’t know. It was close to the new year though. I was brushing my teeth and thinking about what a new year really means. What a good year really means. And my goals really are for a year…or maybe, for just life in general. For my life.

I thought about bad habits that I’d like to die. Things that I don’t like and wish I would stop doing…or would I?

It’s weird with habits because probably too much of anything = bad. But if it’s just the right amount pretty much any skill (that leads to a bad habit) can actually be a positive thing.

Like take overthinking, for example. Overthinking…we probably view as bad. Because of the “over” prefix. But just thinking…and thinking enough…is actually a good thing?

Underthinking…is worse. Not thinking. Not thinking enough. Isn’t overthinking the lesser evil?

This type of thinking is reminding me of the same way I think about being overdramatic versus underdramatic (and letting things slide). I will infinitely times think the latter is better. Probably even healthy for you (though maybe a traditional therapist wouldn’t agree. They weren’t made to agree with me, probably. But that doesn’t make me wrong).

So you’d think? But I hate overthinking. Overthinking is a bad thing. It feels like a bad thing for me personally. I guess it just depends on the way you define it, the way you think of it (no pun intended) and exactly what it means for you. Because it’s probably different for each person…or maybe different in even, a given moment.

You can’t tell a writer that overthinking is a bad thing. I mean it just seems silly. Because a writer needs to think…a lot…to write?

There’s so many things I feel like I would have never thought about, or realized, without thinking a lot. Without reflecting. And I feel like I’d be worse without it!

Anything can probably cross a line and a boundary. Like how overthinking can be a mental illness, probably if it starts to affect your relationships and daily tasks, living, and quality of life. So it’s like a balance, like with anything, and you can’t let it get that far and affect you negatively, only positively.

So when I was thinking about it, I decided, you know what…I bet no one even places these impossible restrictions on their new year. You probably will never a perfect year in your entire life…where you will do nothing bad. Because nobody is perfect. And are all growing and learning. It’s a process. Bad habits, yes we should try to stop. But also realize what’s bad and what’s actually good, if it can be twisted around. Because probably any bad habit can be twisted around into something good, if it’s a skill. Which a bad habit basically is. You’re skilled at something…it just happens to be bad or affecting you somehow negatively.

So I don’t want to stop thinking critically, just try to not let it go into bad boundaries, also. This is the twisting and making it positive. And recognizing what can be good about this skill, but being wary of the bad.