Move-in 2nd year

I felt a horrible guilt within me that my friends were so excited to see me for move-in and I couldn’t have been dreading move-in more (but it had nothing to do with them). It was a horrible pit feeling.

On one hand, I wanted to be excited. In general, and maybe for them. So that the energies matched.

I imagined welcome week last year vs. this year. How strange it would be, one roommate, both friends from last year, excitedly moving in to see her other roommate. And the other, completely undecided, unhappy, and unmotivated to do anything, unable to understand why anyone would even want to be friends. Just nothing special enough.

And it seemed wrong. If I could change it, believe I would.