My Greatest Fear

My 3rd novel is inspired by my greatest fear.

I don't know why my greatest fear is what it is, but it's kind-of hard to explain; but I'll try to explain it.

Basically it's related to love and romance. I'm scared that I will settle for someone, marry them, and then, that the person that I actually was in love with in my childhood/young adulthood, would come back and confess their love to me, (I guess), and basically say like, "I was wrong."

Then, since feelings is not something you control, I'm afraid of my feelings betraying me and causing me to pull my life the unlogical, irrational way, and basically ruin my life.

This greatest fear is completed by already having had a family and kids. It would put me in a situation where I would have to choose between two extremes of: selflessness and selfishness.

We all know we can't control our feelings. So what I then mean by my feelings "betraying" me is not actual betrayal, because feelings are not real-life objects that have actions or have any sort of control, it just is what it is. But they would just put me in such a tough situation and "betray" me, because, in this worst-case scenario, I would have never stopped loving that person, and never really loved my husband that much.

This is actually another dilemma to me, because, if you love someone and they don't love you back, do you just go for the next best thing? Like, it sounds so bad and harsh, but isn't it just the way life is and has to be?