Oh to get away

I remember someone once saying that “no matter how far you go, you can’t get away from yourself.”

I never understood it until I actually felt the strong desire to get away. Oh to get away…

How great it would be to just be dropped and kidnapped right now into some dark creepy forest…or to somehow live in the depths of the ocean?

Go scuba diving…go skydiving…

Something exhilarating…

Some tropical place. Away. Away. From everything and everyone.

Last weekend, I went home. But it was not an escape. On the contrary, I was chained to organic chemistry because we had an exam, and I did that all weekend. Did not leave the house, feel the outside air, or go outside for any sort of activity. Had to cancel any fun plans I had.

I didn’t even get to see my neighbor, which made me really upset. I had to cancel on everything and everybody.

And, I didn’t even finish the studying. And I didn’t even finish homework I had to do on top of the studying. I had to do this all as I came back late, tired from the bus, also trying to read for my Dostoevsky class on the bus, with that bright screen in the darkness (sunset is literally at 4:47 pm today!!!), overthinking, etc…it was terrible…but oh well!

It just feels like I am forced to watch something horrible. Forced to try, when it’s stupid and pointless to.