Routine

This is an idea that has been stocked away in my document for a while, but and sometimes it just goes like this, it took something, some kind of spark to get me inspired to write it.

Because yes, we humans like routine. (And…? Went my brain).

So many people I have met have went, “I like routine. I need routine. I go kind-of crazy without it.”

I realized that some of us (me!) actually go crazy without routine. I don’t know what it is, I need it.

I believe what happens without routine to me is that I am left too alone, too with my thoughts, with nothing to distract me.

Obviously I am the opposite person to tell you that you should never think. That is not what I’m trying to tell you. However there is a limit and good healthy balance to anything. Sometimes you really need to stop thinking and just be present in the moment and live life. Being a routine, it forces you to do that. You jump from one thing to the next. You have to-do lists. You have a lot to do. Your thoughts are more occupied not by deep thinking of your problems, but what is the most effecitve use of your time. “I can do this…I also need to do this…When can I fit this in?…Can I go do this on the way?…to be more effective.”

And that can be exhausting too. If you do that for too long, and not have a break. I’ve been in a place like that for many times. It’s pretty exhausting when you’re forced to be in a state of burnout, and you cannot do anything about because that is simply the system.

That was second semester for me. Too many credits. Too many classes. Too many problems (physics, math). Too many words/reading (Russian literature Chekhov). Too many assignments (coding). And everything took too much time. Almost physically impossible.

And yes, in a way, I thrived. I got it all done. I got to organize my time and use it effectively to get the things done that I wanted, that mattered and were important to me, and that would lead me closer to a goal. In the end, that’s what it’s all about. A goal. Even if sometimes it seems stupid and pointless along the way, like how I had to take a computer science class.

But, and similar to senior year of high school, when I had 4 APs, and two of them math APs and other classes worth about the same amount of work, that time in the evening to relax was sacred and necessary to recharge somewhat before I had to wake up and repeat the same all over again the next day. However, second semester, barely even had that. So that was kind-of bad. But luckily, the semesters in university are so short. And go by so fast too! Before you know it, it’s midterms. That winter break is long. There’s spring break. And beginning of May you’re just done. Only exams left. And 100% it went by even faster for me, because of the lack and fighting for time. Like literally imagine a ship of pirates (pirates of the Caribbean, sure) and some fighting scene. Now put one of the characters as me and another one: time. It’s accurate and I’m not exaggerating.

Routine can be good. You can go crazy without it. It’s important to be appreciative of everything, both when you have it, and when you don’t. Balance. But to not left the negative effects take over when you don’t have it. Try to keep yourself in check. I know some people, even when they don’t have routine, create it in a way. They keep themselves busy. They do things. They go places. They get out of the house. Whatever it takes.