So (in)visible

I have come to the realization that all of us are so visible. As soon as we step into the light (aka, outside) we are subject to scrutiny. As Francesca said in Bridgerton S3 (about how she feels at Balls with men staring at her/asking her questions, though I think it can also properly be analogous to how the Queen inspects and is bored when “newly/freshly minted debutantes” (Lady Whistledown’s words) are presented to her)) it’s like a “writhing insect under a microscope.”

In fact, now that I brought up the Queen of England from Bridgerton, that is a perfect way of exactly how it feels like. When the debutantes are presented to her, she is visibly bored and yawns. Obviously, she doesn’t care what anyone thinks, for she is the Queen. But she is also super judgemental. It is visible in her facial expressions, gestures and waves of the hand, etc.

Penelope Bridgerton, on the other hand, is what Eloise called an “insipid wallflower.” Probably out of jealously mostly that she said this, because how can she possibly think Penelope (Lady Whistledown) is not interesting, and that she, is more interesting? Impossible. Lady Whistledown is ever so interesting, while Eloise, simply has nothing. She’s done nothing. Like Penelope said, “all she does is talk. Not do.” And it must’ve been that that made Eloise so mad when Penelope said that, because she knew how she was right and she hated the truth, she disguised her hate of the truth into hate for Penelope, and said, “I wish to never speak to you or see you again.”

Penelope has so much advantage over being a wallflower, I just want to say. Like advantage over other people.

Because that’s the whole reason she was able to be Lady Whistledown. She blends in like a wallflower. She is literally the wall (flower because of her dresses lol).

How awesome it is to be a wallflower though. To not be noticed. Imagine how much more you could do. However when you feel like you are noticed, you feel like you can’t do much of anything (at least I do). Like I’m again, an insect writhing under a microscope. And I don’t even like or appreciate the attention, either.

And how uncontrollable it is, too. Like fate. You can’t control whether you are noticed or not. You have no say in the matter. It is all so…above you. Bigger picture.

As soon as we step into the light, we are so visible. Subject to scrutiny. And it is out of our control and nothing we can do about it.