Studying…📚😴

After everything, similar to the last blog post (I’m just splitting it up, basically), I’ve also been thinking a lot (not just about exams), but studying. Probably because studying leads to exams, and obviously, significantly affects them.

I believe I’ve already written about people who study all the time, so I won’t even mention that here.

But it’s interesting, to me at least, how different people study. Like studying is such a broad word, and obviously the classes you take…but the person you are…literally affect what studying is to you, and how much you’re willing to do, so much, as well.

Or, how much you think you need to study, how you like to study or how you don’t like to study (which gets into, again, what you’re willing to do/how much/put up with…)

Or, what you think “studying” even is.

A phenomenon that started happening to me with studying…I would say, from last semester (so that would be second semester of my freshman year/entire university experience thus far, aka the spring semester) is specific to STEM.

Looking at details when you study? When looking at the answer key…I didn’t know whether I should examine the exact solution. Like all the details and algebra…or just the answer and the general method used to solve it. Because what if, there was a detail, a catch, a nuance, in the exact problem? This was especially the concern with statics.

But then, I felt like I was staring at the same problem for like hours trying to understand it because with statics…well that class was completely different and special. They don’t teach you everything. You’re supposed to look at the problems, not know what to do, and figure it out. Basically, engineer your own way of solving it. I did not know this for the midterms. And I have always been an all-or-nothing person and as we have established in the previous blog post, a different, divergent thinker. And I would come across those statics problems, and think to myself, “we never learned this, this isn’t fair, I have no idea how to do this.” I felt so confused. How did I not know? Was it me? Was I the problem? Well I only learned the true way I should be approaching it on the last day of classes last year/semester, which is why I was almost late to my final presentation for intro to engineering and why I actually did good on the final. I still want to emphasize that this approach and format of exams is completely unfair, and to place such a big grade/future/career emphasis on it? Actually vile and cruel. Each problem was different, each had a catch. I couldn’t do the homework without going to drop-in tutoring. There was so much that could go wrong in a problem, even if you knew the exact way to solve it, that it would still take you like five hours to solve one problem (sadly I am actually not exaggerating).

So that’s why I started looking for those “catches,” but how hard is that, where it a.) took so long, b.) I wouldn’t even understand because we never learned it?

And how frustrating is when you run out of time. And another weird phenomenon started happening with me (also started in statics, a very eye-opening class, clearly). You think you’re done studying, to find out you have so much more to study, and you run out of time.

Finals week is horrible. It only wasn’t that very first semester, freshman year, but I think that’s only because a.) the classes weren’t as hard (like calculus II, I had literally taken that in high school), b.) I didn’t even know how to study or what would happen or the stakes (like how unfine everything would be).

But ever since then, those two horrible things that make it horrible and so much more (studying for STEM, exceptional problems, details, bad teaching, formulas, concepts, not understanding, running out of time)…all of those started popping up.

During finals week, it’s studying all day everyday and it’s miserable. Obviously I was stressing more than usual because the stakes were so high. The pressure was on, and I felt it, obviously. Because I was really depending on those last exams as the last and final straw, the last time fate would be in my hands and then, it’s all over!

You take one exam, but then, you’re on to studying for the next! Having three this semester was horrible. And everyone was gone in the first few days and you’re still there just miserably suffering. It’s a ghost town. You’re alone; it’s even kind-of scary. At least was to me. Like sleeping alone that last night of exams when no one’s there anymore. Maybe nice to be alone, but also just weird.