Thanks to me

You know it hurts when you literally gave someone everything and in return, they make fun of you and make of you a villain.

I mean…boyfriend, friends, idk a LIFE bro, personality, opinions, advice, faith.

Just trying to be a good person, and sometimes it really backfires.

And then what are you left with. Regretting you ever did that? Am I supposed to regret I ever did that? Or would that make me a bad person? That’s the question.

Things either way, regardless, will work out the way they’re supposed to.

It certainly hurts when you trusted someone and give them your soul and in return you get nothing but misunderstanding.

And in return, my life goes to shit. Nothing left.

Have to leave everything and everybody. Life = basically no life. No mood, no personality. No motivation. Depression. Everything is so hard.

Losing people is always hard, but when you gave everything, and just get sad from the way you are mistreated afterwards, it’s like, what’s the point? It’s a different type of pain. So much built up all at once.

Like this is so much worse than just losing some friends but it’s mutual and there wasn’t this huge exchange where you actually gave them everything. And they just made you sad.

You can choose who you’re friends with, and why would you ever choose someone who treats you like this?

But the thing is you didn’t. You didn’t choose it. It just happened to you. And things that just happen to you are always the worst. You didn’t ask for this, and signed up for this. All you wanted was a friend and to be nice and this is what you get in return. I feel so much worse than I once did. Than before knowing. I would’ve been so much better off without it. On top of everything else, this experience that I didn’t even ask for just made it so much worse.

Just hurts.

The song “You don’t even know me” by Faouzia hits so much more. I understand it so much more. Well I always understood it. Misunderstanding was always a great big part of my understanding. Which sounds so incredibly ironic.

But when you were hurt in the process and you know there’s misunderstanding to be sure, that hits different.

I feel like that song always applies. It will also apply a great deal in Montana.