The Score

It is time. I write about my favorite band. About the most powerful band to ever grace the Earth. I love this band with my whole heart. I hope people appreciate it as much as it deserves to be appreciated.

Don’t worry, I won’t talk about each and every song. That would be too much. And unncesssary. Because I have deeper connections to some than others. However, I do have a deep connection to a LOT of them, so I anticipate this blog post to be a long one. However, that is also a good thing, because I want to respectfully pay tribute to this band. I hope I represent this band well. I hope I make you interested in it, if you have not heard of it ever at all. Hopefully I inspire someone to try out the band that deserves it.

To get in the mood, and write the best I possibly can to honor this band, I’m going to listen to their music as I write this. I encourage you to do the same, if you can. Perhaps I will link a song here, if I remember to.

The discovery of this band actually came to me in a peculiar way: through my brother. I didn’t like it at first (a lot of music I hear for the first time, I don’t like at first, and then it becomes my favorite thing ever. Tell me I’m weird. Yes, I am).

I started to listen to it more and I loved it. It became a staple.

Not only are their songs bangers as they are, but if you actually listen to the lyrics (which I recommend to do literally with any song) they’re actually magnificently beautiful. Their lyrics are uplifting. I have literally seen comments of people talking about how their music helps them out of depression, or to battle cancer, or whatever it may be. You will not find a more uplifting, real, motivating, determination-ing band on this planet. It’s not like it’s fakely positive, either. They’re REAL. They’re people. They’ve seen struggles. They see, and they understand.

I love the lyrics, and I’m planning to go through a few songs. Some might even be good enough to have their own separate posts about them.

A lot of their songs, like The Fear, for example, deal with what sounds like fighting yourself as the enemy. Overcoming your own fears. But a lot of their songs are equally about battling outside sources of struggle. Both, I think, are very relatable (I see this not just to me, I think they’re relatable to humanity, in general).

Fire I will write a separate post about.

A lot of aspects of their songs are just RELATABLE to me.

Like “Strange,” is about feeling insane. Feeling like you’re the only one who thinks or feels a certain way. Like you want something, that no one else wants. And people around you are just all doing the same thing, following the same line, and followers, instead of trend-setters. This all is a big theme seen in their songs.

The aspects of their songs that are about

1. Fighting yourself (doubt)

2. Fighting outside factors like people who don’t believe (Also doubt)

3. Trying to make something of yourself

4. All while not following the status quo and being a trendsetter…

Truly fascinate me. It’s beautiful. Trying to make something of yourself, following your dreams, and battling hardships, those may be relatable to me. What’s not, but equally as beautiful. Is the career choice. I believe in their songs, their hardships are trying to become musicians, an industry I find interesting, not only because it is so new, amazing, and helpful for me (this music is healing me, ok). A lot of their songs are about overcoming hardship. And when their hardship (at least one I believe they write about, is becoming famous). But by doing this, by writing about this, I believe they are becoming famous (a little ironic).

Some proof I have that that is in fact what they’re writing about, and I’m not just making this up, is not only because some of the lyrics are about taking unconventional paths and saying “no, I will become something” to people who don’t believe in them, basically, but also

Examples: “searching for words, and praying for signs

I struggle to find the rhythm and rhyme

Don’t know how to say it

Don’t know how to say it

That I’m losing my mind

Trying to find the perfect line” -Miracle

in “On and On” it is said,

“Playing ‘till my fingers hurt

Write until I find the words

.

So much that I want to say

‘Fore the moment slips away”

I like “Strange” because it feels relatable to me- going insane.

“Sometimes I can’t tell between the highs when I’m lost in the lows

Everything is backwards when I’m staring the people below

I’m standing outside like a renegade

When everybody’s here it’s a masquerade

Their eyes cut through like a razor blade, oh

Sometimes I can’t tell that they are better with the devil they know

.

Am I the only one that feels this way?

I keep on running, but I can’t escape” this I would like to comment on because it’s also hard for me to feel like I haven’t been in anything but lows. And it feels like I can’t escape. And like I’m alone, and the only one facing these things.

Some other lines from the song that are on this similar theme, “Am I the only one alone?

I’m losing grip on everything I used to know.”

This must be precisely what people love about music, things I can’t express, it’s hard to even write about, but in music, it just perfectly encompasses my situations, and how I feel.

Now, which songs have been most relatable to my life? To my situational hardships?

I’ve already mentioned “Strange.”

Some inspirational, but still dealing with hardship: “Higher.” At one point this was truly my favorite song from the band. I remember listening to this song ON REPEAT. In middle school and high school. It was so pretty to me, and I loved the lyrics because I felt like I related so deeply. I was always ambitious, I knew what I wanted, and I had high goals I had to reach. “Higher.” How I had to reach.

“You know that

All my life

I have been waiting, I have been waiting or this

All my life

I have been fighting, I have been fighting for this

Dream in my soul

And I won’t let it go

You know that

All my life

They try to keep me down but I just get higher”

These are my absolute favorite lyrics from the song. And the fact that I felt this song so deeply and loved it so much, before I even dealt with any real hardship and felt like maybe I wouldn’t accomplish my goals (basically being hit by university like a truck), says a lot I think to me about the song and the power of it (Haha, “Power” is the title of another one. Though, that one, I remember, just makes me think of physics, since we learned about power in physics. Power, I think, has more to do with the famous and glory aspect of their themes).

A newer one that I love is “Survivor,” very clearly also about hardship, but more so about overcoming it.

“I don’t know how to trust myself

It’s like I turned to someone else

But I can’t let the dark consume me

Let the light shine right through me

It’s feelin’ like the air’s gone stale

And all the wind’s out my sails

But I can’t let the dark consume me

Consume me

I feel it in my soul

No, I won’t go, I won’t go

Through highs and all the lows

I’m a survivor, I’m a survivor

.

I feel the weight keep bearin’ down

As I’m reachin’ for higher ground

Yeah, I won’t let these mountains phase me

With every step, I’m elevating

I hear the vultures call my name

But I’m not going in my grave

Yeah, I’m a be the one who saves me

Who saves me”

Also “Enemies”:

“Goodbye to my enemies, to my enemies

They try to beat me but I won’t surrender

Fear won’t be the death of me, d-d-d-death of me

I won’t go quietly into the night

.

‘Cause I believe underneath I won’t ever lose composure

No defeat, won’t retreat

Hold the line until it’s over

All my scars are tattoos, they’re a work of art

I believe, underneath

I was born to be a solider

Reaching for my destiny

Goodbye to my enemies

.

Fight ‘til the end of me, ‘til the end of me

Did you think that it would be that easy?

This ain’t a tragedy, a tr-tr-tragedy

I’m not going six feet in the ground

It’s not a fever dream, it’s reality

Cut me open and my heart’s still beating

Healed from my injuries, now I’m on my feet

I’m not going six feet in the ground”

Enemies is very clearly about enemies that keep you from reaching your goal. However I, however petty, relate it even more (because there are already plenty of songs for the contrary) with my “enemies” of other sorts. Not just struggles in life- but difficult situations- and difficult situations with PEOPLE- since “enemies” is ultimately describing people. An enemy is- usually a person. An adjective? I don’t even know, but there are definitely people who rage-bait me. Like people who complain about the littlest inconvenices when there are actually people with PROBLEMS- huge, life-changing, altering, problems.

Another song that to me is similar in terms of theme and word to “Enemies” is “Don’t Wanna Be.” Because it talks about the kind of people that I don’t want to be, how I want to be different, and reminds me of the people that rage-bait me. It makes me happy that this band has written about ALL the important scenarios and situations to my life.

“I don’t ever wanna be someone who will never recognize themself

I don’t ever wanna be someone hollow from the inside out

.

I don’t ever wanna be someone who follows everybody else

When everyone is busy out chasing, I’ll make another road myself

‘Cause I know I was meant for something more

There’s gotta be something here worth fighting for

On and on and on we’re dreaming

Back to where we first believed in

We can write out names out in the stars

Oh, and on and on and on we’re moving

Close above, we’re never losing

Never giving up on who we are”

I believe that in my pet peeves blogpost, I have already written about people who change into somebody else or are different people depending on who’s around drive me INSANE. It’s rage-bait to me. I like the line “There’s gotta be something here worth fighting for,” because, just by the wording, it shows there is, or at least was, at some point, some loss of hope, but the person wants to remain hoping. That they can do this, that they were meant for something more.

The paragraph that starts with “on and on” is very pretty and hopeful in the song.

Also, similar in theme, is “Who I Am.” Yet another song I would listen to ONE REPEAT, and when I was going through mental health struggles, and trying to figure out who I was…and it had healing powers. I love this song so much. So much history here. And a very good lesson. Very good lyrics. It really recognises the dark and light sides of a person. The double edged sword. And I love all the comparison and polar opposites because that was so my thing. It is a very self-aware song. But it’s about two things: you can make who you are. You also need to accept things you can’t change. But you CAN change if you don’t like yourself. And you should be authentic to yourself, and be yourself. These were all topics I was very passionate about as a teenager.

“I’m a saint, and I’m a sinner

I’m a loser and a winner

Without faith and a believer

I am true and the deceiver

I’m a hero and a villain

I’m a myth, and I’m a legend

Without strength and a contender

I am real and the pretender

Take me as I am, or don’t

‘Cause I don’t give a damn, no

Take me as I am, or don’t

‘Cause I don’t give a damn, no

I have my flaws

I make mistakes

But I’m myself

I’m not ashamed

That’s who I am

That’s who I am

That’s who I am

I have my doubts

I lose my strength

Sometimes I fall, but I don’t break

That’s who I am

That’s who I am

That’s who I am

I’m a poet and a soldier

I am young and growing older

Without hope, but I’m a dreamer

I’m the cure, and I’m the fever

I am lost with a direction

I am failure and perfection

Without grace, but I am tired

Of walking life like it’s a wire

Take me as I am, or don’t

‘Cause I don’t give a damn, no

Take me as I am, or don’t

‘Cause I don’t give a damn, no

I have my flaws

I make mistakes

But I’m myself

I’m not ashamed

That’s who I am

That’s who I am

That’s who I am

I have my doubts

I lose my strength

Sometimes I fall, but I don’t break

That’s who I am

That’s who I am

That’s who I am

I don’t wanna be someone else

I don’t ever wanna lose this higher

Never gonna try to change myself

When everbody’s got their soul on sale

I don’t want to be just a number

Never gonna try to change myself

I have my flaws

I make mistakes

But I’m myself

I’m not ashamed

That’s who I am

That’s who I am

That’s who I am

I have my doubts

I lose my strength

Sometimes I fall, but I don’t break

That’s who I am

That’s who I am

That’s who I am

That’s who I am

That’s who I am

That’s who I am

That’s who I am

That’s who I am”

I like how in the first paragraph with “I’m”s are broken up with the “Without” sentences. This was a good song to listen to when you were losing friends, too…or trying not to care what people think about you.

Having doubts, losing strength, it’s all so realistic. Their word are just always gold. I really like the line “Sometimes I fall, but I don’t break.”

I also really like “I’m the cure, and I’m the fever. I am lost with a direction.” Again, so poetic.

I like “When everbody’s got their soul on sale I don’t wanna be just a number” I can really imagine that. It sound so futuristic to me.

Or “In My Blood”

“I’m a dreamer but it’s getting hard to take it

Some nights don’t know if I’m going to make it

Heart is heavy but there’s nothing that can break me down

Cold blooded like the world outside that made me

Shine bright from the fire that it gave me

Breathe in think it’s time to write my story now

Bloody knuckles got ‘em banging on my chest

Tunnel vision people say that I’m obsessed

I’m a warrior, I am like not the rest

And I won’t back down

It isn’t in my blood

To surrender I won’t break

I’ll remember who I am

In the face of my fears

I’m relentless I don’t quit

Won’t forget this and my pain

Is what got me right here

.

The rain can’t put the fire out

Inside my heart is raging now

And I’m gonna let it burn”

This is exactly what I mean when I say “this is how legends are made”- how based is “cold blooded like the world outside that made me shine bright from the fire that it gave me”?! And of course, “breathe in think it’s time to write my story now.”

It’s like they just understand some things about me. “Tunnel vision people say that I’m obsessed.” It’s like my connection to “Strange.” People just don’t get it. I know what I want. I have always known what I want. To detail. To precision. I am determined on it and I will get it and I will not quit. There have been people, many times, who don’t understand this strivation and determination in life. They always ask so many questions. It’s like I’m too much, too determined for them, and they want me to be less. They want me to give up. They want me to understand that I want too much, that I can’t get it. But all I know is I have always been the type of person to know what I want, and I will get it. And there is no other way. And they will see. Maybe, someday they will see. There is always a way. There has to be. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. I know I’m relentlessly hopeless on this blog, but I am only keeping my heart safe. Of course, I am human. I have hope. I want things to work out. Inherently, I think, if I am a human, I have hope. Because I know what I want. And so, I want to believe that very much. That, where there’s a will, there’s a way. It’s going to work out, because it has to. It’s simply that. Enough said. I know what I want, and I have motivation and passion and determination; I will get it. One way or another. And prove them wrong. Because they don’t see yet, there is no other way for me.

And the response is perfect too. The answer: “I’m a warrior, I am not like the rest.” People think I’m obsessed, they don’t get it. “I’m a warrior, I am not like the rest.” The rest of the song is how quitting is not in my blood. I’d like to point out the detail about how “my pain is what got me right here.” A very good note. It is through pain, and through hardship, that we get to the places we want to go. The places that made all of that pain, worthwhile. I also like the part about the raging heart. I assume it’s meant in terms of passion, but I have the double connection and relation to it by feeling angry all the time because sometimes I feel like things are not going to work out, that I’m trying so hard and it’s pointless, and that there’s no one in the world more passionate, and yet all these people make me mad by making it through without caring HALF of how much I care.

“Fighter” is very similar in vibe, beat, word, and essence.

“Give me the lights, give me the hate, give me the pressure

Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, pain is pleasure

I hear the wolves calling my name, no surrender

Here only the strong survive

Don’t need to sign, nothing divine’s gonna save me

I’m a machine, building a dream is what shaped me

Breaking the door, waging a war, no escaping

Watch me as I touch the sky

.

I’m a fighter

Cut-throat, I’m a winner

Stone-cold, my heart is the trigger

I’m a fighter

One shot, heavy hitter

Can’t stop, I’m a natural killer

I’m a fighter

I’m a fighter

.

They say the world’s gonna forsake me

The position in my ears won’t shake me

Feel my inhibitions fading

Risin’ up, risin’ up

They ain’t gonna break me”

I remember I would listen to this song with my AirPods in on the way to my intro to engineering labs at like 7:20 am (the lab started at 7:45) on Thursdays, spring semester. I really like all the imagery of a soldier or even something murderous in this song: a fighter, who is going to get what it wants. And I love that aspect of all their songs. Obviously, there’s nothing actually murderous about it, like a normal song. But it just makes it so much cooler, it makes a cool analogy, and it really shows the passion. I like how the song starts with repetitions of “give me” like the fighter is just going to take everything, all the hardship, battle with it, and make something of itself. I like the line “Here only the strong survive.” The soldier is ready for the rest to be weeded out: and it will always remain. You will see. Also “I’m a machine, building a dream is what shaped me.” I also like the last two lines that I quoted “risin’ up risin’ up they ain’t gonna break me.” I like the words “rising” in this context. Makes me think of someone who is beat down so many times, but always rises again. Such a great hopeful word, and works really well in this song.

And of course, how could a song entitled “Big Dreams,” not be relatable to Masha Tchesnokova? There might never be a person who has bigger dreams than me. And yet I’m unwavering. It’s just like fact to me, that it will happen, and has to happen, and nothing even weird about it. Not even a big dream, haha. Just reality. Just facts. Just what I want, and what’s going to happen. I’m such a chill guy, with chill dreams.

“Was never one for letting go

It felt like everybody had to let me know

“What the hell you doing kid?”

“All the plans you’re making getting way too big”

They tell me I’m broken, out of my mind

Head in the clouds I’m doing just fine

Shooting for greatness, aimed at the sky

I won’t know ‘til I try

I got big dreams, big dreams calling me

I got big dreams, and nothing’s stopping me

I don’t care what they’re saying about me

I’m happy dancing to my own beat

I got big dreams, big dreams calling me

Through the years I had to fall

I had to give up everything to get it all

I checked my pride at the door

Had to look inside, I’m picking myself up off the floor”

First off, the first line, is one of my favorite lines in history. I don’t know, it’s just so poetic-sounding to me, and obviously very true to me, too.

I like the conversational aspect of this song. It’s like at first it’s a kid who already knows what they want, and the grown-up is telling them and shooting them down like “nah, kid that’s not gonna happen. Dream, aim, and shoot and little lower.” Obviously, absolutely not!

I like how the answer, which to me, is the second paragraph, isn’t even “cocky” to that adult who shouldn’t have even shot a kid’s dream down (like what are you doing? That’s a kid, you gonna mess with them and kill their hope! Could affect them for the rest of their life. But ANYWAY…) And the response is just like “nah I’m good” which is so based. “Head in the clouds I’m doing just fine,” is a GREAT line. And then it just says “I won’t know ‘til I try.” Exactly! Like you may as well try!

It’s like this song transverses years. There’s the part about getting older that I like that starts with “through the years I had to fall.” And having to deal with pride, and picking yourself up off the floor. And how dealing with all of that, ultimately made them feel better and hopefulagain. But it’s always the best people who are humble.

Personally, at least the way I interpret it, or the way I want to interpret, I believe they also have some love songs. To me, these songs, stand out as not being about a situation, but being about a person. Or, dedicated to a person. It is only a few songs out of the many that they have. Most of them, I still believe have some of the similar other themes I have already mentioned above. Nonetheless, I love both genrés/groups of their songs equally. Someone who is less interested in the uplifting hardship songs of theirs…can check out the few I think are about…love, ultimately. I will not talk about all, only my favorites.

“Where You Are”:

“I know you’re out there somewhere waiting

I know the stars can hear us praying

I know you’re out there somewhere waiting for our love

For our love

Street lights on dark nights

I wonder where you are“

I think this is poetic, I like the way it really paints a picture in my head. To me, it’s about love, about hard feelings, and dealing with it. Love as in together, but also love as in alone.

This one has become a new favorite, however, this one, has been a favorite for a while, probably since summer, and I’ve also listened to it on repeat.

“The Heat”

“I’m a desert, you’re an ocean

It’s your motion that I need

But without you, I am broken

Left to thirst out in the heat

.

Take me down to your paradise

I see heaven when I see your eyes

They pull me in, got me paralyzed

Your body makes me wanna testify”

I hope, I’ve done a good analysis on this band that I must pay tribute to! I hope I repped them well.

Now, I feel like I MUST end with this song, because I remember I was going through some really hard mental health issues in high school and I would listen to this song LITERALLY on repeat all day everyday at some points. It was so healing for me. And I remember crying at night listening to this song. So this song will always hold a special place in my heart. It’s also a really pretty song. Really pretty beat. But I felt so connected to it. I feel like it was getting me through and genuinely keeping me going.

“Believe”

“When it’s four in the morning

When it comes without warning

The silence drags you down under the table

When your whole world is jaded

When your colors are faded

And nothing but your shadow’s on your side

I believe in you…

I believe in you…

If you ever need somebody (somebody)

Even if all your tiles fall down

If you ever need somebody (somebody)

Even when all your hope runs out

If you ever need somebody

I believe, I believe, I believe in you, in you

I believe, I believe, I believe in you, in you

When your flights fly like arrows

When the air all feels narrow

And the rocket we always lean on starts to slide

You feel suffocated

So once celebrated

And the person that you were you can not find

I believe in you…

I believe in you…

If you ever need somebody (somebody)

Even if all your tiles fall down

If you ever need somebody (somebody)

Even when all your hope runs out

If you ever need somebody

I believe, I believe, I believe in you, in you

I believe, I believe, I believe in you, in you

Even in your darkest days

Even if you lose your way, you lose your way

(I believe, I believe, I believe in you, in you)

Even when you’re feeling down

Even when you’re at your worst, you’re at your worst

(I believe, I believe, I believe in you, in you)

If you ever need somebody, somebody

If you ever need somebody, somebody

If you ever need somebody (somebody)

Even if all your tiles fall down

If you ever need somebody (somebody)

Even when all your hope runs out

If you ever need somebody

I believe, I believe, I believe in you, in you

If you ever need somebody

I believe, I believe, I believe in you, in you

Somebody

I believe, I believe, I believe in you, in you”

I know it might sound silly, but I really felt like this band was there for me. Through all the hardest situations I have ever had in my life. And it meant a lot. The fact that they exist. Their music. I truly don’t know what I’d do without them. What I would have done.

The line about “And the person that you were you can not find” is relatable because that’s part of what I was struggling with at this time. Figuring out who I was. And how relatable it that line was, and this one, but this one even more so now: “Even when all your hope runs out”…”Even when you’re at your worst, you’re at your worst”…

I have not listened to this song in a long time. But I will probably cry. Just thinking about the history is enough. But how this song relates now? Oh boy…