The truth is, nothing

I have come to the terrifying realization that I’m actually not good at anything. I’m actually good at nothing.

Not piano, through all the psychological tricks I tried, I was still always nervous for concerts and never played to my fullest abilities. I struggled so hard with fighting myself. I never won a single competition. I spent all my time fighting myself. It really is that I am my biggest enemy, and yet, there are bigger enemies…or are there?

Not ballet, I was always the worst one in the class.

Certainly not school, and my grades have always shown that. And I will suffer more from it, when I get kicked out.

The things that matter to me, that are important to me, I’m actually very bad at. And I’m bad at everything else too. I’m bad at everything.

Not talented, not good at anything, got nothing going for me. So don’t know why anyone would associate with me.

There just are no wins. There’s nothing to celebrate. There’s nothing to be in the least bit egotistical about.