Writer

Although I always wanted to be a doctor, and still do, as you can see in my Aspirations blog post, there were obviously other careers that flashed through my mind throughout my life.

Writer/author- I sort-of already accomplished this? I actually always wanted to be a writer and author, and I am because I have a book published (self-publishing). I have also written one other novel, and one other novella. This shouldn't come as a shock to you, as I love writing. I have a blog. I do this for fun, because I want to. So I actually always wanted to be this in combination with my other dreams. I didn't want to be just a writer though. I think I could go crazy.

It's ironic, because writing whenever I have a moment keeps me sane in engineering/pre-med route, but if I was just a writer, I think I would go crazy and be miserable. I love my STEM stuff, I love/want to/need to challenge myself, and there's just so much more I want to/feel as if I need to know.

Being just a writer sounds miserable. Look at the things I write! Oftentimes, they're sad. Yes I'm sad stressed writer; but it keeps me sane being that in addition to all the rest of what I am; if I was just that I'd go crazy.

And then on a logistical standpoint, I couldn't handle (or at least wouldn't want to) being self employed like that. I need to challenge myself and become good at doing something. Trying to publish for real, the traditional way, would only worsen my self-doubt and craziness.

And I don't think I'm that good of a writer, to even make it in the real writing world.

I always had a passion for writing, and knew I wanted to write a few novels. I have done that, I had my inspiration moments for my books and what I knew I wanted to write about. I don't necessarily think I'll have that anymore. I had desire to write about two or three novels/novellas, beyond that, I feel fulfilled with no need to write any more novels/novellas. I will still continue writing all my life, at least I believe my passion for it will never die, because even in my darkest days, where one would think I'd lose all motivation to write, I actually just yearn to write even more.

Which that, is another reason I think I'd go mad, if I were to just be a writer. It's precisely when things are awful and hard and difficult and when I am sad that I have perhaps the biggest passion to write, because I don't entirely know, what I write then feels good, getting it all out, and the work itself seems more worthy. Because when things are difficult, is when you feel, realize, and learn, and reflect the most (there's your optimism for the day).

And as you can see, I still do write, in other ways. Blog posts, combined with thinking philosophical thoughts, is my passion as of right now. If you've been reading my other blog posts, you would also know that I have written in different languages and dabbled in poetry, a new and different kind of expression for me.