How goes the search?

This summer, a huge thing has been finding a job. I may have finally done it, guys. Finally, tomorrow, I am meeting with someone. This could be the answer to everything. I am honestly a little scared they're going to be like "oh you want to work for just the summer? then you leave? goodbye!" and to show up and all that effort just for that. I forget if I said before that I am a university student...

Really scared for that. But I don't think. I have a good feeling about this. I mean, no more questions asked...just...can we set up an interview?

Tomorrow will a big day for a lot of reasons. This, isn't even the only one! Also, I will find out more about my future, about unknowns, and about how screwed I am! Yippee! Maybe it's not that screwed. Hopefully...

Let me just gaslight myself into thinking that I am a social butterfly, and flying to a different state, 1000 miles and 17 hours away? For new experiences! Ahoy, captain! Let me sail my boat.

I mean one thing that's true, I am young, the time is NOW like no other, to do travel and whatnot. Far away or...far away. Young, with no attachments. Alone. (As in, not married, or especially no kids. No fam). I can't possibly disappoint anyone for leaving, right? And no attachments left behind...I can just go have some fun. But also lock in and get. this. degree. No crying. I can cry all I want once I get. this. degree. I swear that's the only thing on my mind right now. Absolutely.

I spent so many hours this summer, some, before it even started, on researching places to work. I shudder. It's so much work. To think, to find, to search, to go through options, to organize, to apply, to reach out, to email, to update resumés applications. Resumés, applications, addresses, education completed, references, all of these words have been too prevalent lately.

It was not that long ago I was doing this all, and I'm still in the process (hopefully not for long), but at least I've had a breakthrough and made progress.

I just hate that feeling of applying to SO many places, putting in so much effort, and barely getting one reply in return! It's horrid. I hate that process. And I've never really had to do that before.

My first job was through Youth Apprenticeship, so they basically handled everything; I just showed up to interviews.

That was nice. I enjoyed that while it lasted. Of course, it did not last for long. I've gotten a taste for the real world. It was just so extremely difficult finding a job. I think what made it complicated was that I wanted to find something I would enjoy, because towards the end, I got a taste of what it's like dreading going to work, every shift. It sucks tremendously. And here I am, ready to work everyday. I sure better enjoy it, especially if I want to enjoy this summer.

I guess I just never wanted to experience that again, and again, if I am (and ready for) to work everyday, it's pretty important for me to enjoy it, I rather think.

First, before the semester ended, I looked one day for 7+ hours for a wedding floral shop. That ended being a complete dud, though. I made a pretty spreadsheet, I found like 14 different places and called them all. A bunch weren't hiring. Three told me to come in and fill out application, but no one ever reached out. Just like this preschool right next door.

Secondly I started looking at Starbucks and thinking that that's even better. It's so close, walking distance. It's also smart, here's my strat: if I already spend my money on that! It felt like a good idea, because I was disappointed by the floral shops, but I started thinking everything's for the best because I can find one during the semester and work there. Because they would probably be chill about coming in for shifts that are a few hours, which is exactly what is needed (nothing more) for a semester's job.

But...they didn't want to hire just for the summer. That's been the biggest struggle. No one does. Hopefully this place does!

So third I started thinking about the next best option: and actually, the job I will have now might even be the best of them all. Everything works out how it's supposed to, right? Even if we can't see it/can only see it in hindsight? I might actually be able to see weddings now. Seems like a nice location and everything.

I was thinking too, and applied, to a café I go to a lot (smart again). They seemed like they were actually hiring when I visited at the beginning of summer. (Oh my God it's been like exactly a month!) But I also haven't heard. I heard from this place though, so it might even be for the best! We shall see tomorrow, right?

Talk later,

Masha