Come Hang Out

This song randomly came on when I was driving to church last Sunday. I have listened to most songs by AJR, but I guess, not this one. For some reason, when it shuffled, it never came on.

It literally felt like it was stalking me and telling me about my own life. Like one of those creepy dystopian movies that are talking and telling you.

"Come hang out

'Cause you're outta your mind

You're working so damn hard

You forgot what you like

And come hang out

Don't you leave us behind

But I'll be there next time

I'll be there next time"

To me, it feels like I've been cancelling on friends a lot lately. Just always busy, and always studying.

This next lyric isn't really related to this particular blogpost, but it is part of this song, and relatable to me, so I will talk about it.

"All of my life I have been starving

Not for a dinner with friends, more of a starving artist."

Anyone who does or participates in any sort of art might relate to this. I have already talked about that one essay I wrote in AP Lang about mental health and art lol. The two...they just mesh so well together. Even if I got practically made fun of for trying to make the comparison and wanting to write an essay about it.

"Yep yep I'm going to miss this someday

Yep yep I missed another Friday

And all my friends say"

I actually don't feel I miss out on that much with my friends. But sometimes I feel like I'm somehow missing out on life- in general.

It was very related to something I have been wanting to write about. I know this is something I've written about before, in a way, but I want to write about it again. And I feel like I have a new way to write about it anyway.

I've been going through a hard time, but I feel like my friends have really been there for me.

It really is healing, when even at my worst, I feel like I can feel joy and love because I know I have my friends, and they are the best people I've met.

It's just such a joyous feeling, when you just have the knowledge of having these people.

I don't know if these things sound basic and stupid, but to me they just are not. Even hanging out. Or being invited. Them being happy, when we're together.

Knowing I'll have them, is such a great power. A healing power. A good power, that keeps you going.

I really don't know how to explain it, but it's not just that I have friends.

It's them.

It's the friends that I have, it's the type of friends that they are.

Like, not just friends.

People who will be there for life. People who want to be there for life. People who would be happy to be there for life.

People who are happy to see me, want to see me. They'll do anything. Get sad if I can't hangout. Miss me. Want to meet up. Want to catch up. We call. We catch up. Want to spend quality time together.

It was just really crazy this time. It was like all of my friends showed me at once, how they're all diamonds. How much they shine, their love. Like it was insane. Honestly it felt like work of God. Because I don't even mean one, I mean everyone. And right away, my eyes were open And I could SEE.

I don't deserve the type of love these people have for me. I am so thankful for it.

When I think about it, life really is short. Like it's just flying, and it's a shame if we don't spend it with the people we love. It really is.

And everytime we are with those people, we literally should be so thankful and happy.

I don't know what made me realize that with a bit of a jolt.

Maybe it's all the business. All the homework.

Because then I thought about how hard I work.

And if I think about it in a way, it is because of how hard I'm working. I try to work hard, to get everything done, SO that I can send time with the people I love. Like it is literally for them. Isn't that crazy? What's crazy is that I never realized that before, to be honest. That's the only crazy part.

This weekend is a perfect example. To spend quality time with my family and friends this Pascha, I had to be SO productive today to the point of honestly feeling PRETTY stressed out. I don't like to feel the effects of stress. Well, who does? I don't like to physically SAY that I'm stressed. This time I did. You can read all about how productive I was (most productive day of my life) in the latest blogpost ("Laptop update:(").